Previously on Nurse Jackie...
That was a shitload of pills Jackie got arrested with.
Where do you suppose she got them?
I don't know.
Let's see who's laughing after I ask you to provide me with a complete inventory
Akalitus put you on the security watch list. She's very serious.
Well, I'm serious, too. My lawyer is a pit bull.
I don't have anybody else to sell to.
I need money for my lawyer.
Where'd you score them?
From this elderly woman that I take care of.
What do you think about you selling this place
and we'd get a bigger place for the three of us?
A career nurse pressured to leave by a deceptive ultimatum from her supervisor,
one Gloria Akalitus.
I am fully prepared to go for a jury trial
and pursue punitive damages for this mistreated caregiver.
Don't celebrate too soon, Jackie.
Diversion is gonna be hell.
You may not touch patients. And just so nobody mistakes you for a real nurse,
lose the blue scrubs.
Deal.
Jesus.
Fuck.
Why are you so close to my face?
Mmm. You do this little thing with your mouth.
Eddie, I love you.
Do not watch me when I sleep.
You love me, huh?
Yes, I love you.
If you move your face back six inches that way, I'm gonna love you a lot more.
Oh.
You okay?
Yeah, yeah, this is fine.
It's when I get up, everything starts to fall apart.
Mmm.
Then stay in bed.
Oh, fuck me.
I'm gonna be late for church.
God damn it.
God bless you.
Bless you.
Thank you so much. I'll see you next week.
- So good to see you. - Good to see you.
It was beautiful.
First one in, last one out.
She wants to get a good seat where everybody can see her.
Vivian's in such good spirits.
You've really worked miracles with her.
Oh, she's a great lady, and that was a great sermon.
Peace be with you.
And also with you.
Male, 40's, fell off some scaffolding.
Multiple contusions, BP is 85/50.
That's a lot of blood.
What's your name?
Uh, Rick.
Is my wife here?
Let's get two units of O neg.
Yep. Thor, can you get a hold of his wife?
Hey, Rick, your wife is on the way.
Can you hear us?
Yes. Yeah, thank you.
My name is Jackie.
Thank you, Jackie.
Uh, what is she... What are we... Are we...
You're gonna be fine.
Your vitals are good, considering you just fell off the side of a building.
So, on your count?
Can she be in here?
Can you be in here?
Yeah, I think so.
Fine, oh, okay. Uh, on my count.
One, two, three.
You have a suspended nursing license.
There is no reason that you should be in trauma, ever.
Not even for a gurney transfer?
We have people for that.
Is everyone clear?
We are clear.
Should we move this meeting to your office?
No, we should not.
Okay, so I will stay out of trauma.
Anything else?
And you should be at least 25 feet from the pharmacy door,
no dispensing medication or touching patients.
Okay, I have read the rules of diversion, but thank you for clarifying.
I'll clarify it every day.
Can I help you, Dr. Cooper?
Oh, no, I thought something good was happening.
I don't like being left out.
Nothing good here.
How's your patient?
Stable and happy to be alive.
A lot of blood, though.
Now here's something you can do.
Clean this place up.
Don't tell me about your troubles
Don't tell me about your tears
Don't tell me about the worries
Matt?
I need a mop.
In your suitcase, honey, dear
And I'm gonna feel much better.
Fresh mop for a fresh nursing assistant.
I am still not going to see your band.
'Cause I'm packin' up my heartache
Excuse me, are you a nurse?
Um, how can I help you?
My mom, her stomach's killing her.
I'm sorry to bother you, but how much longer do you think we have to wait?
How long has the pain been this bad?
It woke me up last night.
It's...
I'm sorry, I can't...
She can barely talk, it hurts so much.
And what's your mom's name?
Susan Kim.
Susan Kim?
Wear the Dunks, please.
What you wear signals something to others, Zoey.
I think speed and comfort are two very good signals.
I want to be very clear,
and to that end, one of the rules of diversion for Jackie
is that she will have a designated monitor.
That must be very hard for you on top of everything else you're doing.
Oh, I'm not gonna be the one monitoring her, you are.
Run down this checklist of everything she has to comply with on a daily basis
- and then... - Quick question, is Jackie still a nurse?
She is a nursing assistant.
So, we're pretending she doesn't know anything. Got it.
Do I have to comply?
With all the shit work I'm gonna throw her way, Jackie won't last a week.
Okay.
This is all feeling very weird and personal.
Of course it's personal, Zoey.
It should be personal for you, too.
Can Jackie hold things for me?
As long as it's not a patient or a narcotic.
That is what I... She said...
Does it have to be me?
How's school?
I'm still waiting to hear if I got in,
which means I probably didn't.
Well, they'd be crazy not to accept you.
Jackie, I'm collecting your urine.
You don't need to bolster me.
Do you want me to turn on the water?
Zoey, I don't want this to be awkward
and I understand that you're just doing what you need to do,
and I respect that, but, uh, would you please answer your phone?
Sorry, I don't know who it is that's calling me.
Go ahead, answer it.
I cannot leave the collection site until the sample is filled, sealed, and labeled.
Well, I cannot pee with you staring at me.
Can you turn around?
I can't.
I would if I could, but I'm not allowed to.
Oh, so we wait.
And you're on linens today.
Strip the beds, make the beds, dispose of anything soiled.
Just to be clear.
Very clear. Sounds great.
See, there's a two-story foyer that overlooks the fireplace.
Cozy.
Well, cozy means small.
This place is huge.
We looked at 15 houses.
This is the only one she liked.
I got an offer pending.
I'm not gonna tell her 'til I got the keys in my hands.
So, the surprise pregnancy wasn't stressful enough, huh?
It's romantic and it'll be a short escrow.
Cash offer, above asking.
Mazel tov, Coop.
Now...
I wanna make you an offer you aren't going to refuse.
My kid needs a godfather.
You sound like a French vampire.
Look, I'm flattered, Coop, but I don't know.
It's not like you have to do anything. I'm gonna live forever.
Come on.
Godfather Eddie.
A man who doesn't spend time with his family...
Something, something, something.
May your first child be a boy.
In Sicily, women are more dangerous than shotguns.
No, that's not right.
- Yeah, the whole... - Check out Cinderella.
It's depressing watching her push around laundry and garbage.
Have you talked to her since she's been back?
Uh, no.
Not really.
Laundry's that way.
Oh, fuck, it is?
I'll draw you a map.
I been working here for over 20 years,
I'm still getting lost in the fucking basement.
Jackie, these are the bowels.
This is where all the shit happens.
I've slept down here.
Ah, do you have a home?
Yes.
And a girlfriend, just so we get that out of the way.
Don't want anything to be weird.
Are you into urban camping?
Public sleeping?
Uh, no. I like a bedroom.
See, I heard you like breaking the rules.
Yeah, no, not anymore.
Is somebody smoking?
I think if someone were smoking down here, I'd know about it.
Want one?
I feel like it's my fault.
It's not.
I had a miscarriage right before I got pregnant with Grace.
You're fine. You are so young.
I am so young, right?
Uh...
Honestly, I'm relieved.
You're not ready to have a kid. It's good to know.
Does, uh, Coop know?
Mmm-mmm.
No. I can't tell him.
He's so excited.
It'll break his heart.
Well, the longer you wait, the harder it's gonna be.
He's gonna smell the smoke.
Yeah.
This is a disgusting habit.
I know.
I love it, too.
It's nice to have her back.
Is it? Why is that?
Um, yeah, I just think it's...
Okay, we're back in junior high.
That's nice.
How are you feeling?
It's terrible.
So, Dr. Cooper will be over in a few minutes, Mrs. Kim.
How's your pain?
- She's a lot worse than when she got here. - Thanks, I got it.
My stomach.
I understand. Let's get you started.
Put this under your tongue.
What are you doing?
I am not dealing with the patients.
I'm straightening linens, as instructed.
Do you have pain anywhere other than your abdomen?
No.
Can you describe the pain, when it started?
This morning.
Blue toes. Blue toes, blue toes.
Dr. Cooper, blue toes.
Can you step back, please?
- Cyanosis? - Probably, yes.
Dr. Cooper?
Right, sorry, your patient.
Zoey, I want a bedside ultrasound.
Chart?
It's right here.
Any recent medical procedures?
Does liposuction count?
Uh-huh, major surgical procedure definitely counts.
That hurts?
Mrs. Kim, you may have an embolism,
which means you've thrown a clot.
And that can get very serious very fast.
Luckily, your blue toes are in good hands.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
I don't hate you. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
Oh, no, you just can't be seen talking to me.
Thanks for understanding.
Excuse me, do you sell cigarettes?
You starting to smoke now?
Don't stand too close to me. Akalitus has a target on my back.
Here, do gum.
Gum is great.
I need something to take the edge off.
The only person who talks to me like I'm normal is Matt the dungeon master.
Who the hell is that?
Yeah, exactly.
Maybe it's better not to have friends at work.
Coop just asked me to be the godfather for his kid.
I have to say yes, right?
Oh, Jesus. Poor Coop.
Oh, Coop is not poor.
He just bought a surprise house. Paid for it in cash.
Can he get his money back?
I have a question for you.
A man surprises you with a house.
How does that go over?
First I'd be offended, then I'd be thrilled.
Let me ask you something.
If I asked for an inventory, how long does it take one pharmacist to put that together?
Jesus, Gloria, mine was a game.
She doesn't play games.
That's true, I don't.
You'll have it today.
He just bought me some gum.
Coop bought you a house.
You need to tell him.
Jackie, come on.
Coop would not buy a house without telling me.
- It's Coop. - Oh, my God.
Look, I need to, like, tell him in my own way.
I... Are you trying to look at my chart?
I... No.
Are you allowed to touch charts?
I would like to help somebody today.
Well, I don't need your help, Jackie.
No, thank you so much.
Uh, it's just been a hard day to have a conversation around here.
Yes, I understand, thank you.
Uh, I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to call you back.
Something terrible is about to happen.
I have to watch her pee.
Who?
Jackie.
What are you doing?
My blood sugar's a little high.
Can I stay in here with you?
- We don't have to talk. - Mmm-hmm.
You know how stressful it is to watch somebody that you admire pee in a cup?
I don't even know what to say afterwards.
"Thank you," "I'm sorry. "
"Go fuck yourself. "
Just take the pee and leave, Zoey.
I got into my master's program.
They gave me a huge scholarship.
- Well, that's terrible. - Stop it.
I used to like coming to work.
Now I have to pep-talk myself all the way here.
I walk four extra blocks just to calm myself down.
This is workplace stress, right?
This is workplace stress.
Come with me.
No, what if she's out there?
I'll hide you.
Walk behind me.
Hey, what are you doing later?
Working.
Want to go for a drive?
Where?
It's a surprise.
I don't like surprises.
Everybody likes surprises.
No, everyone does not.
Surprises are very polarizing.
Dr. Roman, um, excuse me.
Hey, Jackie, we're kind of in the middle of something.
Um, yes, Dr. Roman, I'm sorry to bother you. Can I bum another cigarette?
I'm having a rough day.
Carrie doesn't smoke. She's pregnant.
You can keep 'em. I bought a carton.
Thank you.
I'm okay.
Miscarriages, especially in the first trimester,
are very, very common.
I'm so sad.
Yeah, I know.
I didn't want to tell you.
You smell like smoke.
Yeah.
Hold your breath.
Let's get her into trauma.
Jackie, we need to move now.
Give me some O neg. What happened?
I am so sorry for your loss.
Oh, my God, I need to call my dad.
I can take her.
No, that's all right. I'll take her.
We're just, uh, waiting for a transpo.
Yeah, that's me.
I'll take it from here.
- This girl needs a Xanax. - What?
No, I don't.
Everyone pops a Xanax every now and then.
I take one before I call my mother.
We have a great relationship.
I'm happy to help.
Okay.
I'll take a half.
Or maybe a quarter. I don't know.
I should try it on my day off.
I think this is making me more stressed out.
That needs to go in a medication cup.
It's not for a patient. It's for me.
You gave Zoey a Xanax without a prescription?
Take it easy on Zoey.
Being Jackie's monitor is no walk in the park.
You're fired, effective immediately.
You're firing me over one Xanax.
What do you think?
I think you're gunning to fire somebody today
and if it can't be Jackie, it might as well be me.
Where's my inventory?
I don't work here anymore. Do your own inventory.
You've had your hand in all sorts of shit.
You and I both know that you ought to walk out of my hospital right now
and never look back.
Consider yourself very lucky.
Back to work.
Race ya!
Ugh. Oh, I get it. You really like this job.
I love it.
Honestly, I could do this forever.
Yeah, I couldn't.
This woman here, I could have done something more for her.
I'm not supposed to be down here.
- No offense. - Oh, none taken.
You're a nurse.
It's different.
You'll probably be devastated when this place closes.
Well, All Saints'll be around forever.
I don't think so, man.
I love my job, but I also love my band, my foster cats.
Well, Matt, this place'll be around long after you and I are both gone.
Oh, no, it won't.
I was cleaning up after this big-time meeting up in HR.
All Saints is about to be sold to a group of Norwegian developers.
Postengruppen.
Something Gruppen.
Are you kidding me?
Good-bye, All Saints.
Hello, luxury condos.
Well, when were they gonna tell us?
Seems pretty hush-hush for now.
Sometimes it pays to be invisible.
'Cause I'm packing up my heartaches
In a suitcase, honey, dear
And I'll feel a whole lot better when you're gone
What's the face for? What's the matter?
Everything's the matter. Everything's totally out of control.
Can I stand next to you?
Oh, absolutely.
Where are you going?
Akalitus fired me.
It's fine.
Hey, listen, you're fine.
Just keep going.
So, I'll see you later at my place?
Yeah, I'll see you later.
But don't tell me about your troubles
Don't tell me about your tears
Don't tell me about the worries that you know
'Cause I'm packing up my heartaches in your suitcase, honey, dear
And I'm gonna feel much better when you're gone